Leave behind Bitcoins. There’s a entire world of e-currency alternatives out there that you should know about.
01.Nineteen.14 6:45 AM ET
If you’re wondering what the hell cryptocurrency is: join the club.
While Twitter, and the internet, pretends to understand Bitcoins or “altcoins” or whatever damn coins exist on the rekentuig but not ter my wallet, the truth is that millions of us are totally clueless about thesis market mavericks purporting to revolutionize economic life spil wij know it.
Crypto-bod Ben Doernberg explains: “Bitcoin wasgoed commenced by xxx laptop experts spil a deadly-serious attempt to switch the economic and political landscape, and it quickly attracted a core group of libertarians and cryptography enthusiasts.” Indeed, the digi-currency has loved a meteoric rise to prominence since its 2009 inception, with 1 BTC now worth almost $1k. But, spil with all fine success stories, one inspired idea paves the way for an onslaught of insanely inferior ones, and the daddy of altcoins has spawned hundreds of copycats. Simply being a decentralized, peer-to-peer currency wasgoed soon no longer enough, and lo and behold—a wave of digital money meme-ry wasgoed born.
Yep, the fiscal potential of altcoins now plays 2nd fiddle to the kitsch factor, spearheaded by the introduction of Dogecoin last year. So here’s a guide to some of the key players ter the cryptocoin market (plus some others that deserve a spot for being adequately weird):
It’s only right to start this list with Dogecoin, the currency based on 2013’s Meme of the Year (no truly that’s a thing now), Doge. A Shiba Inu pooch with a poor grab of spelling may seem like a peculiar choice for a meme, but self-confessed “shibes” all overheen the globe have taken the little fuzzmeister into their hearts—and now their canap accounts—with the introduction of Dogecoin. The currency’s co-creator Jackson Palmer muses: “I think the real reason for Dogecoin’s success is that it’s added a friendly face to the notion of a global, digital currency—in turn, we’ve built a large sultry community of users, for many of whom Dogecoin is their very first practice with cryptocurrency.”
The canine-faced coin functions less spil a means of turning a profit, but rather spil a way of ‘tipping’ fellow internet users te online games or social networks. Billy Markus —Palmer’s fucking partner te coin crime—estimates that their creation has triggered a steep rise te fresh cryptocurrencies making their way to market, with anything from five to 15 being launched every day. Compare this to the fact that less than one vanaf week were circulating before Dogecoin came out, and it’s clear that this sweetly packaged laptop contant packs a serious punch.
While some might question why wij need to brand thesis digital dollars with memes, Brett Scott, author of The Heretic’s Guide to Global Finance, believes that they are crucial to a cryptocurrency’s success by provoking an emotional response from its users: “Any belief te currency—whether it be a paper note, or a chunk of metal, or digital bytes, is essentially irrational and requires some emotional leap of faith.” Scott’s belief te Dogecoin is so solid that he accepts it spil payment for his book, adding: “I believe the symbol has enough emotional power to form the fundament for a future cultural system of value.”
And when it comes to cultural value, wij truly need look no further than Kanye Westelijk, the inspiration behind 2014’s very first major cryptocurrency, Coinye Westelijk. ‘I don’t know what’s better, gettin’ laid or gettin’ paid,’ rapped the self-proclaimed “nucleus” te This Way, and it seems the currency’s creators are attempting to practice at least one of those things for the very first time by gathering some Coinye capital.
The altcoin launched ter a blaze of legal fury last week after KW’s lawyers attempted to shut it down, irate that the foot product ter the world Westelijk doesn’t already have his own line of would go to market with his name on it. “It remains to be seen if Coinye will be much more than another PR black eye on the cryptocurrency community at large,” says Rackspace developer Jesse Noller. “It may be a good idea, but they launched it spil a unspoiled marketing leap after eyeing the success of Dogecoin. It wasgoed a classic pump and dump: hype, pre-mine the coin, launch, contant out.”
While Coinye’s mascot has now inexplicably morphed into a blinged up ‘n’ bloated Kanye fish face, the entire messy enterprise has given cryptocurrency naysayers reserve ammo ter denouncing digital dollars. “Bitcoin [and its variants] has become synonymous with everything wrong with Silicon Valley: a marriage of dubious technology and questionable economics packaged up te a crypto-libertarian political zakagenda that smacks of nerds-do-it-better paternalism,” blasts former Twitter engineer Alex Payne. Moral of the story: bitcoins bad, nice coins good.
And so explains the birth of Catcoin, the latest creation hell-bent on knocking its canine counterpart off its perch. Relying on the fluffiness factor to give them a popularity boost, the burgeoning currency is already attempting to scoop up Dogecoin defectors on reddit and increase its market value. Most of thesis bitcoin wannabes fall chic soon enough, however, and it remains to be seen whether Catcoin will truly make its mark. “It’s totally unlikely to say whether there is slagroom for numerous cryptocurrencies to stick around,” Doernberg elaborates, “but if there is, Dogecoin or another coin like it has strong potential spil a family friendly coin used te online games and to peak on social networks.”
While cryptocoin defenders are keen to extol the virtues of their online community, it does raise (even more) questions about what the actual point of all this pretend rekentuig metselspecie is. Is it intended spil an economic game-changer that people can make real money from, or just a way of dishing out likes or recommends with a wooly mascot fastened? And, if it’s the latter, why name the currencies something so closely aligned to the libertarian ideology of bitcoin? Such questions, very confuse, etc.
Let’s stir back from the deep and meaningful to the sheer ridiculous, which has helpfully bot bestowed unto us by the creators of RonPaulcoin. Yes, that’s keurig, a digital currency dedicated to the “intellectual godfather” of the Tea Party. The senior political Paul has bot outspoken ter his praise of bitcoin, telling CNN that it could “destroy the dollar” and cause a serious fiscal shake-up, so it seems like a logical step for him to be the face of one of its newest revamps. With a current market value of more than $28 vanaf RPC and a ranking spil the 47th most valuable of the 71 cryptocurrencies, this coin is climbing the schop pretty quickly.
But if RonPaulCoin is the commence, where does this all end? With Obama bucks? Den Blasio dollars? Joe Biden Gs? You get the picture, and it’s not a pretty one. (Well, it will be if Joe B’s Gs takes off. Here’s hoping).
There’s only one logical stir to make after RonPaulcoin: Sexcoin. This one seems to have a shred more purpose than its bitcoin-esque bedfellows spil it promises a more private means of online transaction inbetween performers, producers and consumers of adult material. It can be a little hard to take a cryptocurrency whose tagline is ‘Super Sexy and Delicious’ earnestly, but with a current market capitalization ranking of 30, its show isn’t too shabby.
So where do wij go with all of this screen money, and is it truly likely to overthrow our economic infrastructures anytime soon? If anything, the deluge of strenuously orchestrated ‘quirkiness’ thesis groups are attempting to inject into the market is something of a turn off, and the regular risk thesis currencies seem to be at from hacking doesn’t do much to restore my faith that altcoins are just a bunch of computery nothingness. “I agree with the naysayers—in fact, I pretty much am a naysayer,” concludes Noller. “But somewhere ter inbetween thinking cryptocurrencies are the future and cryptocurrencies are neckbeard monopoly money is the truth. Just don’t invest real money. Please.”